How to find a flat in Naples in 9 easy(?) steps

Welcome to the South! Manual on how to find a flat in Naples.

  • Search the internet. You will find:

–    horribly small flats that have been restored and look awesome but you could                             open your fridge while still in bed,

–    huge flats that are so old that walls are collapsing and water pipes are made of                         tar,

–     ugly flats with great location or

–     amazing flats in neighbourhoods where no one wants to live and finally,

–    spacious great flats, with great location but no windows because they’re located                      in basements.

  • Ask yourself how did your friends managed to find the great flats where they live in, if internet show only this awful options.

 

  • Ask your friends how did they managed to find the great flat where they live in. They’ll probably tell you they got it from an old aunt. Ask your aunts, if they have nothing for you, go back to the crappy website.

 

  • Hooray! You finally started to find the great stuff. Is way more expensive than what you originally planned, but you need to give it a go.

 

  • Start calling the agencies from the flats you liked. Prepare for rejection. Agents will be harsh, it’s their job to scare away clients (??) If you’re a Naples resident, chances are, you will never find a flat to rent because rent contracts with Neapolitans need to be at least four years long, and…. who would like to rent their flat for four years to a guy that can be as terrible as a tenant as Michael Keaton on Pacific Heights? You’re right: No one! (We were lucky because Vince’s residence is from ‘periferia’ so agents didn’t hang up on us)

 

  • Arrange a view and start a tour between the most unexplainable flats you’ve ever seen in your life like, the ‘I would have to be 1.40m to fit under this roof’ flat, ‘ the ‘is the shower in a closet too?’ flat, or the ‘you can cook while seing your husband peeing’ flat; until you finally find something decent, close to ‘la metro’ and the ‘funiculari’, that you can afford.

 

  • Hold on to it like grim death, you’ve been very lucky! Show them the money and get that contract signed ASAP because you could loose it in a sec.
2016-01-31 08.56.12
Our neighbour!

 

  • Move in and start the new ‘Dolce vita’ in Italy. Walk around and discover the area, find parks with cats, find a spot where you can view the city, the sea and the Vesuvius, find lots of beautiful streets and markets and even your local castle. Go home and realize is more beautiful than you initially thought. Discover new windows and balconies, begin to dream of all the things you can do with the high ceilings, and fall in love with your new huge sinks and the bidets that you never had before in your life and will have to search on YouTube to learn how to use properly.

 

  • Live happily ever after in your new home with your noisy neighbours ❤

 

The end

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