Reasons to break up 

So we have been together already for one year and, well almost two. And I’m actually surprised that we have survived together this long, since we have a serious list of reasons to break up. But the main reason is well ehm, me…


Me: We need to talk. You are using too much oil when you cook.

V: Is not THAT much oil. I just…

Me: See! You’re never gonna change the way you cook, and I can’t live with that much oil anymore. I think we should break up.


Me: Having a Colombian girlfriend is such a big hassle. No visas needed if you date an Italian girl.


Me:You don’t want to wear a suit? I’m calling your mother!


Me: Why don’t you want to eat my Beef Stroganoff? Is it just because is a BIT BURNT? I’m never cooking again for you!!


Me: You never water the plants! I’m always watering them, is like I’m a single mother of your babies.

Btw the Rosemary manages to grow in every park in Italy against the inclement weather, but I don’t know how, ours died. Oops!


Me: You are killing me! (After he jumped on my head and threw me to the flames while playing Super Mario Bros on the Wii U)


Me: I just need to rest my eyes for ten minutes (Falling asleep every time we watch an Italian movie or documentary just after it starts)


V: You shouldn’t wear your ‘I ❤️ Verona’ jumper in a flat full of Neapolitans (the regional footballer distress)


V: What happened with the taralucci I brought from my last trip?

Me: I ate them all.


(Vincenzo walking heavy around the flat, like a Tyrannosaurus rex)


Me: V-v-visibility

V: You mean ‘Visibility’?

Me: It sounds the same to me…

V: No, you don’t pronounce the V. You say ‘Bisibility’.

Me: 😓

V: You also pronounce my name ‘Bincenzo’


Me: I had a little accident with the washing machine and now all your clothes are pink.



Me: Asian babies are so cute! I want to have a Corean baby!


Me: OMG what happened to you?

V: I just got a haircut for £5 at the place next door…

Me: You have just resigned from your rights as my boyfriend.



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