So we have been together already for one year and, well almost two. And I’m actually surprised that we have survived together this long, since we have a serious list of reasons to break up. But the main reason is well ehm, me…
Me: We need to talk. You are using too much oil when you cook.
V: Is not THAT much oil. I just…
Me: See! You’re never gonna change the way you cook, and I can’t live with that much oil anymore. I think we should break up.
Me: Having a Colombian girlfriend is such a big hassle. No visas needed if you date an Italian girl.
Me:You don’t want to wear a suit? I’m calling your mother!
Me: Why don’t you want to eat my Beef Stroganoff? Is it just because is a BIT BURNT? I’m never cooking again for you!!
Me: You never water the plants! I’m always watering them, is like I’m a single mother of your babies.
Btw the Rosemary manages to grow in every park in Italy against the inclement weather, but I don’t know how, ours died. Oops!
Me: You are killing me! (After he jumped on my head and threw me to the flames while playing Super Mario Bros on the Wii U)
Me: I just need to rest my eyes for ten minutes (Falling asleep every time we watch an Italian movie or documentary just after it starts)
V: You shouldn’t wear your ‘I ❤️ Verona’ jumper in a flat full of Neapolitans (the regional footballer distress)
V: What happened with the taralucci I brought from my last trip?
Me: I ate them all.
(Vincenzo walking heavy around the flat, like a Tyrannosaurus rex)
V: You mean ‘Visibility’?
Me: It sounds the same to me…
V: No, you don’t pronounce the V. You say ‘Bisibility’.
V: You also pronounce my name ‘Bincenzo’
Me: I had a little accident with the washing machine and now all your clothes are pink.
Me: Asian babies are so cute! I want to have a Corean baby!
Me: OMG what happened to you?
V: I just got a haircut for £5 at the place next door…
Me: You have just resigned from your rights as my boyfriend.